Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst

     This book honestly could not have come at a better time than it did. I was so excited to have found a scripture-based book written by a Christian author that touched on things that hit so close to home. About the time I stuck my nose into the pages of this book, and for years before that, I struggled with depression and I always felt lonely, unwanted, or never good enough. And it was hard for me to try to find people who cared or understood. I still struggle with these things daily, but now I know I don’t have to face them alone, and that I have a God who sees and knows my worth.

     At first, I came at the book with a reluctant mindset, thinking, how is this book really going to help me? The Scriptures should be enough. Which of course they are. But sometimes, people may be going through a particular situation that requires more specific, in-depth analysis and a living, breathing person to guide and help them. So I finally gave it a try after putting it off for quite a while, and in the beginning, I was kind of thinking where this was going. I wasn’t getting anything out of it. But I just had to keep reading…...

     She talks about the scenarios in which she felt rejected by a father who abandoned her, and that basically set a precedent for how she viewed herself and her relationship with others. That’s when negative thoughts crept into her mind. She believed that all that was happening to her was somehow her fault, that she was being punished and therefore she felt less than or not good enough. This ultimately led to a lot of problems in her adult life, such as constant pressure to outperform or be exactly like someone she admired, being overly ambitious, and struggling with overwhelming fear and anxiety. However, all these unnecessary emotions leave her feeling more alone and rejected than ever. She provides numerous examples of situations, which include insinuating that a fit lady at the gym hated her, being scared of zip lining, feeling unimportant at a job meeting, and various other accounts. And for each aspect of her pain, she provides some very relevant points. For example,

“When a man is physically present but emotionally absent, a girl’s heart can feel quite hollow and helpless.”

     I think all girls/women feel like this at some point in their lives. This signifies a girl’s need to feel loved and wanted, and how she may seek acceptance or validation from imperfect men who don’t follow through on their promises. This opens up a door to invite God in, because He never lets us down.

Another crucial quote to remember is this one:

“God is good. God is good to me. God is good at being good.”

Oftentimes I feel like our view of God changes based on our circumstances. We start to think he doesn’t care, or that he’s cruel and mean, or that he’s ignoring us or punishing us or whatever. We forget how awesome He is.  But we have to remember that despite any storm we go through or trial God puts us through, that He is still sovereign, and still so good to us. We can’t let our current situation dictate our attitude towards Him or keep us from praising Him. We should continue to love and trust Him when the waters are rough, and not just when things are going well.

“We run at a breakneck pace to try and achieve what God simply wants us to slow down enough to receive.”

     This is a constant reminder to us that we don’t have to have everything figured out, and that if we just slow down and stop worrying, God will provide in ways we don’t expect. We can relax. God's got this.

“Giving with strings of secret expectations attached is the greatest invitation to heartbreak.”

     This is truly humbling. We must learn that if we are to give, we must do so fully with an open heart, and that we must do it without any thought of reward or thanks.  If we don’t, we will be disappointed each time and strive to do good only for recognition and glory, which is not the point. In this way, we learn how to be truly selfless and compassionate without developing ulterior motives or reasoning. There’s no catch attached to our kindness.

There’s too much goodness here:

“There is something wonderfully sacred that happens when a girl chooses to realize that being set aside is actually God’s call for her to be set apart.”

     That is so interesting to consider. I have never thought of it like that before, but it is so important. This tells us that sometimes, if we feel out of place or we come out of a situation that’s not meant for us, then that ultimately means we are meant for something bigger and better.  I use to feel like this all the time, especially in high school. I was always the outsider, the black sheep. But I always felt like there was more for me out there. So if we ever feel disconnected from people or we feel as if we don’t belong, that’s God’s call to us to get up and try something else. Something he has in mind. We need to stop pursuing or entertaining things not meant for us. God has a purpose for us that is specifically unique to us, and is assigned to us in particular because it is something only we can do.  Which ties into the excerpt, “There is an abundant need in this world for your exact brand of beautiful.” Wow. God gives us a mission only we can accomplish. We are needed. And we are beautiful. And He'll reveal His plan for us in His perfect timing - we just have to persevere and be patient, which I know is quite hard most of the time. 

     

     Lastly, this quote is one that really spoke to me:

“God isn’t afraid of your sharp edges that may seem quite risky to others. He doesn’t pull back. He pulls you close.”

     When you are in the deepest, darkest parts of feeling unloved by others, just know that God loves you. And ultimately, His love is the only love that really matters. You should look to Him for acceptance, and the great thing is, he already gives it to you. He’s just been waiting with open arms for you to put your faith, hope, and trust in Him. People may be afraid to get close to you, or people may think that you’re weird, but God ignores all that. He isn’t afraid of your past or your imperfect personality. Your habits, issues, sins. He looks at those as a way to get close to you. He covers all of it with his forgiveness and grace. Romans 5:8 says it best:

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (ESV)

     How beautiful is that? Despite our imperfections, we are loved with a perfect love by a perfect God. We don’t need anyone else. He fulfills our needs and makes us whole.

     There's so many other good, solid quotes from the text that I'm so tempted to include here, but that's what reading the whole book is for ;)

     Overall, I feel like this is a must-read for any girl who has felt the sting of rejection, the lie that you’re not good enough, or the overwhelming hurt of feeling alone. It really helped put things into a godlier perspective and breaks everything down really easily so you can process your feelings in healthy ways. Lysa not only provides wisdom, but actual ways to apply it. In the back of the book she catalogues all the verses she uses as well as their references, and also records all the pivotal snippets of advice from each chapter that she wants you to remember.  She touches on friendships and breakups, feeling threatened by others’ success, trust issues, feeling alone or disconnected, assuming the worst or assuming lies, feeling rejected and how to process that hurt, recognizing how good can come out of a bad situation, anxiety, fear, and a better lens from which to view all these things. There’s something for everyone here. I truly believe you will come away from this book having gained at least a sliver more of peace or confidence in the Lord.

     What do you guys take away from all this? Feel free to leave a comment below!